the simple things.

It has been a little over a year since the last time I have confessed all of my life secrets in this little blog of mine.  I'm still here, rest assured.  I've been standing at home plate trying to knock all things I swing at, out of the park.  Finally, the universe's first string pitcher has thrown something that I somehow managed to see and recognize as the perfect pitch.

People say things that I think I understand, I think relate to, I think I have experienced -- then it is truly experienced and it's as refreshing as that first splash of water on your face after biking ten miles on the hottest day of days.

I hate to admit that I grew up a pessimist.  I remember being in elementary school, lining up on the risers on stage for a chorus concert.  My chorus teacher warned us against looking up into the stage lights, she said it would hurt our eyes.  I stared straight into those lights to prove her wrong.  I wasn't a believer.   My mother said that soda in the morning would give me a stomach ache.  Proved that one wrong.  Not a believer.  Eating before taking a swim...no cramps, nothing.  If you chew on your hair, you'll grow a big hairball in your stomach and it will have to be surgically removed...nope.

Someday you'll meet the love of your life and you'll know.  Seriously, now... come on.  I really wanted to be a believer.  Like if I pretended it could happen, maybe the pretend thing would actually turn into a reality... or some shit like that.

If I could tell my younger self something to keep me going when my mind was filled with dread and doubt about this life, my decisions, seeing the true intentions of people who I thought loved me for me and nothing else... I would say, "when the time is right, he will walk into your life.  He will surround you with his light and you will experience true happiness and genuine love.".

I have never trusted someone so fully and it is otherworldly.  He slows me down, listens, is completely tuned into my emotional state, and I have never loved someone like I love him.

I won't paint this as a happily ended fairy tale or something that is too good to be true.  I will say this though, I feel safe, I look forward to continuing growing with him, experiencing our life together, and am extremely optimistic about what the future holds for us.  I just want to be the best person that I can be, and someone who makes you feel that way is sui generis.  If you are lucky enough to find it, don't let it slip through your fingers.  I take zero of these moments for granted.