red lobster boy

I worked with Mark at Samaritan, he was in the accounting department.  We met at a meeting that I was taking minutes at, I couldn't get over the 17 year age difference enough to ever consider a relationship with him but we had great Seinfeld-like conversations.  He had two sons he was raising alone, Mark Jr. and Nick.  He brought them into the Hut, where I held a second job, and I waited on them frequently.  Mark Jr. was about to graduate high school and was really quiet, Nick was a football star, way to cool to converse.

Whenever I come across someone painfully shy, I seem to always feel the need to take them on sort to speak, bring them out of their shell.  This trait seems to usually result in two things, either discovering an awesome personality or inviting a stalker.

I left the hospital to attend college full-time, so my visits with Mark's family became very rare until one day at college when I came across Mark Jr.  He was on campus, slumming around, waiting for his dad to get off work to come pick him up.  I offered him a ride home rather than wait four hours and put out the free standing offer of a ride here and there when he needed.

The next time I see Mark Jr., I am on my way out to lunch.  Naturally, I offer to bring him along, he is quick to tell me that he doesn't have money so I offer to buy his lunch.  We go to Coleman's and sit only to have the pleasant surprise of my Grandmother being sat simultaneously.  I am thinking "Oh great, she is going to think I'm dating this kid.", she asks us to join her and we comply.  After lunch, Gram picks up the check and gives Mark the wink, oooh boy.

The next week, I see Mark Jr. again, he approaches me and asks me if I want to go out to lunch again, and I agree.  We get in my car and start towards Arsenal Street.  "Where do you want to eat?", I ask.  "Red Lobster!", he replies.  I explain to him that I have class in 40 minutes and Red Lobster is probably not going to fly, so he follows with a request for Pizza Hut, which is great because I get a discount.  We are seated quick and start looking at the menu.  He says "I want ALOT of pizza!!!", I am like "ok, cool.", we ordered a large stuffed crust super supreme.  Mark adds breadsticks and wings and I am thinking this boy is hungry.  Midway through our meal Mark explains that he needs to go call his dad to arrange his ride for after school.  He then says something that is the question heard around the world.  He says "Do you have a quarter?".  Huh?  Did he just ask for a quarter????  With the smile pasted on my face, all I can squeak out is "uh huh..".  The rest of our lunch consumed in silence (since I did 99% of the talking most of the time anyway).

This boy.  Thiiiiisss boyyyyyy.  He asks me to lunch.  He wants to go to Red Lobster?  He wants ALOT of pizza?!?!?!  He does not have a freaking quarter????  Yes, a learning lesson.  What did I learn?  Avoid Mark.    The term "Red Lobster Boy" was coined, and I never spoke to him again.  Probably not the most mature way to handle this situation, but it felt right at the time and I am sticking by it.